The demands that are made on a military family are difficult. Military spouses and children have to live with their service member being away for months at a time. Even when they are home, they might be pulled away to stand duty at any given time.
Ultimately, some military spouses can't handle the demands of this lifestyle. This is sad for the service member who is only trying to provide for the family. If you are a service member who is facing divorce , you should think about these points.
Retirement pay considerations
Not all service members are working toward retirement from the military. If you are one of the ones who are working toward this, you should think about how the divorce will impact your retirement pay. The amount of time you were married and the amount of time you've been in the service matter here. If you have been married for 10 years and in the military for 10 years and the overlap period for both is 10 years, your soon-to-be ex would be able to get direct payments for his or her share of your retirement pay through the Defense Finance and Accounting Service. It is up to the court that handles the divorce to decide what, if any, retirement pay your ex is entitled to receive.
Child custody matters
Child custody is a big issue in military divorces. Often, service members think that they can't pursue custody of their children. This is a big myth. As long as you have a family care plan that is properly executed and approved by your commanding officer, there isn't any reason to think that you wouldn't be able to try to get custody of your children. Make sure that your plan covers short-term and long-term assignments so that you have all your bases covered.
Flexible visitation is possible
If you end up not having primary custody of your child, you will have to figure out visitation schedules. The good thing about these is that they aren't as strict as what they were in the past. You can work out a flexible arrangement that lets you meet your military obligations while still remaining a central part of your child's life. Even when you are deployed, you can still have visits thanks to virtual methods of visitation. Virtual visitation can allow your child to video chat with you on a regular basis. You could use this time to help with homework, catch up on important events or even read a bedtime story.
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